Welcome to the the Beyond Stuckness Program
Course 02 - April 2015
Congratulations for taking the first step to getting beyond stuckness in your marketing, business and life.
Please bookmark this page in your web browser, as there is no link to it from the main site.
Information for the upcoming course is below.
First, make sure to read over The Unstuck Process E-book a few times before you do the program. And also download the Unstuck Worksheet. You are welcome to start using it before the program starts.
Assignment for first session: Make a list of all the areas where you are stuck in your business or your marketing. Download the Stuckness Sheet and fill it out. Please have this done before the first session.
Teleconference dates: April 9, 16, 23, 30, May 7, 14
Sessions are held on Thursday Mornings at 9:00 am to 11:00 am Pacific time. (10 Mntn, 11 Cntrl, 12 Estrn, 5 pm UK)
Each of the teleconference sessions is 120 minutes long.
Call-in teleconference number: If you don't yet have your Maestro Conference number yet, Click on this Link to get it.
Please call in five minutes early so we can start on time.
As you go through the program, you'll return to this page for your course materials and the recordings of each program session.
I'll be in touch with you before the program starts.
Cheers, Robert Middleton
Session 1 – April 9, 2015
This week's Assignment
This week, simply sit down and write the answers to these questions for a few areas of stuckness.
1. Where are you stuck or what are you avoiding? Just pick one thing at a time.
2. What do you feel when you're experiencing this stuckness?
3. How do you react and behave when you're experiencing this stuckness?
4. what is the belief underneath this avoidance or stuckness?
Your Main "Tool" is Awareness
Just be aware of these four areas. Don't add or subtract anything. Don't look for meaning or insights. Don't try hard or struggle, just look, observe and see what's there as clearly as you can.
Notice Your Triggers
See if you can find a trigger for your "stuckness scenarios." What do you notice or think of just before the belief, feelings, actions etc. kick into action.
Explore like a scientist. Focus your attention and be very interested with what is actually happening when you get stuck. And when you notice, just allow what you notice to be exactly what it is. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't chase insights. Don't change anything.
You may want to listen to the recording again to clarify these ideas.
Session 2 – April 9, 2015
This Week's Assignment
This week, take the time necessary to work on two two four of your limiting beliefs. Work through questions one through eight on the Worksheet. Use the e-book with the sub questions to help if you need to. Listening to the complete recording will help you understand the process better. I worked with several people on these questions and I think that will answer all your questions.
The Key is Brutal Honesty
The middle four questions of the process require brutal honesty with yourself. Again, there is nothing to figure out here. You just want to closely look at your own experience and answer as honestly as you can. The way past your stuckness is through your stuckness, not around it. You can't get around it. You can't avoid it. It is what it is. And until you see whether or not your belief is true, is working for you, and what the cost and payoff of your belief is, the belief will stay in control and keep you stuck.
Session 3 - April 23
This Week's Assignment
Now that we've gone through all the questions of the Unstuck Process, go through the process with the worksheet on one or more stuck areas. Really pay attention to the belief. Work at going deeper to get to the "Core Belief." Once you've gone through this work, and had some insight, you can strengthen that insight by reminding yourself with "Instant Inquiry."
Instant inquiry is saying things to yourself when you notice your core belief has shifting into gear, making you feel bad, fearful, unconfident, etc. Here are a few:
1. Am I aware? Just notice that you are aware right now. And awareness always trumps your thinking/feeling/reacting. Awareness is permanent, always here and available at all times. On the other hand, thinking/feeling/reacting is a passing, impermanent experience. Ultimately it will pass. It will fade away.
2. Use any of the questions from the unstuck process. These are my favorites: "Is what I'm thinking really true?" and, "Is that thought working for me right now?" and, "Do I need to pay attention to that right now?" and, "Who would I be without that thought?"
3. Go into your body and feelings. Don't resist them, feel them. Notice any tension, or uncomfortable feelings; notice the actual sensations without adding thoughts to them. Just be aware of these feelings. Don't try to do anything with them. Allow them to be exactly as they are. Just breathe into them without trying to change anything.
About Core Beliefs
A large number of core beliefs revolve around fears of how others might judge us. They have to do with rejection, lack of acceptance, lack of acknowledgement, being punished, being laughed at, being marginalized, being rejected, being thought of as stupid or inadequate, being unworthy, unqualified or incompetent, being weak or incapable, being unlovable, being unimportant and not mattering, being defective or damaged, being a failure, being too outgoing or successful, being too unattractive or attractive.
Notice that none of these fears would make sense if it weren't for other people. But in our past we've gotten these messages from parents, siblings, school, church, organizations and our work. There is a natural need to be loved and accepted. When something happens where love is withdrawn, or someone hurts us (intentionally or unintentionally) we feel hurt, we feel afraid. And we don't want to feel that feeling anymore. We want to avoid the possibility of it happening, by any means possible.
And as a result of this, we take on core beliefs that stop us from having similar experiences again. We avoid activities where we might fail, might be rejected, might have love or acceptance be withdrawn, might be accused, blamed or criticized, might not live up to the expectations of others, might make someone angry.
So what we get from avoiding things (the payoff) is we get to stay safe, get to avoid pain, and then on top of all that, to compensate, we stubbornly hold onto our avoidance by being right, controlling, dominating and justifying.
Technically, this state is called "identification." It's something like a hypnotic trance where we become subject to the core-belief messages whenever we are triggered by a situation, thought or perception that reminds us of a previous painful experience.
What we also fail to see is that these "protection mechanisms" to stay safe and avoid pain are based on past experiences that mostly don't apply anymore. Nevertheless, these core beliefs put us on high alert that we might be hurt in some way if we do these activities. As a result, we don't make follow-up calls, write blog posts, or give talks.
But when we start to investigate, explore, inquire, we may see the underlying core beliefs that hold everything in place. And we start to see the lies our core beliefs have been telling us to keep us "safe." Until we see that, we tend to remain stuck.
When we do the Unstuck Process we uncover all of that. We start to see that this core-belief is usually dead wrong. It's telling us something that is not true anymore. It is warning us against possible rejection, criticism or failure that is not likely to happen. However, if we are totally under the sway of a core-belief, we tend to do things (or avoid things) that build the evidence that we were right. For instance, if we do follow-up calls or blog posts or give talks, we may find a way to sabotage ourselves, and prove that we aren't worthy or capable after all. And this gives us even more reasons to avoid that activity. And the cycle continues – often becoming a "permanent limiting pattern."
The unstuck process offers a path to go beyond stuckness.
Session 4 - April 30
Assignment for this Week.
The main exercise this week is to go deeper into the Unstuck Process by:
1. Going deeper, past your surface beliefs into your Core Beliefs for question #4. Once you've identified the core belief and you are clear about it, then go on to question 5 - Is that belief true?
2. After you've done question #8 (What is the Payoff for this belief) then ask what the opposite of that belief is. I.e. "I'm not worthy" becomes "I am worthy."
Then ask, "Is that turnaround belief just as true or truer than the original core belief?"
Then write down at least three things that prove the alternate belief, "I am worthy" is true. Write down more if you can find them.
Then continue with the final four questions of the process.
Keep working on one key area of stuckness until you start to feel some freedom, less stuckness in that area.
The recording will explain this process in even more detail. This is especially important for those who were not live on the call.
Why People Give Up
I thought you might find the chart below useful in exploring core beliefs.
Choose a specific area of stuckness and they see how many of these 16 reasons you have for giving up (or procrastinating or suffering about this), and then do the Unstuck Process or some or all of the items on the chart that pop out for you.
Session 5 – May 7
Assignment for this Week
1. Explore and observe when you are in Reality or Unreality this week. Reality is often experienced as a "Yes" to life, while Unreality is often experienced at a "No" to life. Reality is expansive. Unreality is constrictive. Reality is just what is. Unreality is Reality filtered by beliefs, feelings, attitudes and Core Beliefs. When you are considering doing something notice if you are dealing with what's so, Reality or what "should be, or shouldn't be," Unreality.
2. Use the various exercises in the Unstuck Techniques page to help you get back to Reality day-by-day in ordinary circumstances. Don't try to do more than two exercises in a day. Each exercise can be very powerful. You gain mastery by practicing and observing what happens.
Session 6 – May 14
Assignment for this week
Listen to the recording of Session 6
Send in a short statement about what you got from the course
The Only Self There is. By Rupert Spira
Our own being is like an open, empty, transparent presence.
Attention is always towards something. In our self there is nothing objective towards which we could direct our attention. Attention is always towards an object—a thought, feeling, sensation or perception.
Divested of all directions, attention stands revealed as the aware presence that is our self.
We may at first try to turn our attention towards our self but anything we find would only be another object, however subtle (thought, feeling or belief). It is enough to cease investing our attention, and therefore our identity, in any kind of object, that is, in thoughts, feelings, sensations or perceptions.
It is not necessary to get rid of them, only to cease investing our attention and, above all, our identity in them. At some point it becomes obvious that our essential nature is not a thought, feeling, sensation or perception.
There is, as it were, a falling back into our self.
At the same time, it becomes clear that no thought, feeling, sensation or perception can ever compel us to be something other than what we already are, and for this reason all agenda with appearances ceases, unless such an agenda is required as a practical response to the current situation.
In relaxing our involvement with thoughts, feelings, sensations or perceptions we are, without knowing it at first, allowing their hold over us to diminish. We are allowing our being to become disentangled from the matrix of thoughts, feelings, sensations or perceptions with which thinking has embroiled it and, as a result, stand revealed as it always, naturally is.
There are not two selves, a separate one and a real one. The real self is always the only self that there is, although it has become so entangled with thoughts, feelings, sensations and perceptions as to seem as if it were another kind of self—one that is limited, separate, located and inside.
However, there is no such limited self. Our true self of awareness never becomes a separate self any more than a screen becomes a landscape when the film begins.
In ceasing to invest attention and identity in the objects of the body and mind, our being is gradually divested of these accretions.
Whatever we give our attention to, flourishes. Whatever we give our attention to becomes our reality. In giving attention to our self of aware presence, attention is relieved of its direction, focus or tension and stands revealed as presence itself.
The one that is looked for stands revealed as the one that is looking.
Rupert Spira, from Presence: The Art of Peace and Happiness
I would add one thing to this. Inquiry into beliefs, thoughts and feelings is not the same as paying attention to them or being identified with them. The latter is passive and automatic, the former is proactive and brings awareness to these thoughts, beliefs and feelings and ultimately untangles ourselves from them.
Some Final Thoughts by Robert Middleton
You will get long-term results if you study the ideas we’ve explored and do some of the practices I’ve suggested.
The purpose of this course is to get you to a place beyond Stuckness, but it’s really not a place, a feeling or an idea or technique or skill.
Beyond stuckness is your self, aware presence.
From simple awareness, anything is possible. You can create anything, do anything, overcome anything.
From attachment or identification with thoughts, feelings, beliefs, sensations or perceptions, you are extremely limited. All of these change, come into existence and pass away. They are impermanent, limited, and constrictive.
But your aware presence is always here, available, open, creative, loving, expansive. When you realize that, you can just be that.
A big step in this work is realizing the difference between reality and unreality. Reality always was. Unreality never was. It’s an illusion, a mirage that captures our attention and mind and tries to convince us that it’s real.
You know the mirage is not real because it always relates to the future and the past. It is never just here, aware and in the now in its infinite possibilities.
You don’t really have to understand all of this or try to figure it out. It’s easier to just do the Unstuck Process. When you notice you’re stuck, just pull out a sheet and answer the questions. You’ll find YOU on the other side of the questions.
Do this often enough and you won’t have to use it much anymore because you won’t be stuck anymore. Nevertheless, there is no shame in being stuck. We get stuck, that’s what humans do. But we now know we don’t have to remain stuck. In fact, we are already free.